Anamika Agrawal
“Why are we supposed to say ‘OK’, when it’s not?”
When my sweetie pie caught fever on 13th April, we were scared. Life which had hitherto gone smooth, got a jerk.
But with patience and compassion we treated her well and she cured rapidly within two days. We were extra cautious and gave her the antibiotics of ‘C’ danger. Meanwhile we were struggling and anticipating whether it’s Corona or Normal flu. I took care of my baby dawn to dusk and got no symptoms. So, we eradicated the fear of Corona.
16th April, was the day decided for my vaccination. My husband had a temperature of 99 degrees on 15th,….. on 11th, he already tested negative in RTPCR test. But then also we were cautious and taking all the precautionary medicines, gargles, steam. On the same day of my vaccination, he got 101 degree fever but thought it can’t be because this time we were already taking medicines beforehand. I was apprehensive, told him not to take me for vaccination. But, being a cautious husband, he thought at least I would be safer, if I got vaccinated.
I was not Okay with this, but because of his anxiety, I had to yield. Took the first shot. Everything was going fine, only according to Corona, not us. Whole day he had 100 degree fever after taking paracetamol too. He was trying to analyze his sense of taste n smell. Everything was fine, no weakness, nothing. Instead, I started having bodyache, pain on the arm where I had got vaccinated. So, took paracetamol and slept a bit early.
I was not ‘Okay’, but told him that ‘I’m okay’ and started the chores as ever. But gradually my condition started deteriorating. Pain started excruciating, fever, giddiness, weakness, and every symptom started showing. He talked to many people, everyone said it’s quite normal after vaccination.
But after two days on 18th, there was no improvement in my condition and his fever, we decided to go for test. But it was not that easy. Nobody was coming to take the test. We contacted so many people and agencies. At last, one person came on 20th but we were not handed over the test report until four days.
We decided not to wait. On 20th only he went for CT chest scan. The report was okay 4/25. Which indicated Covid but very slight. Same day he gave the blood testing. Some infection was visible in the report. We started treatment accordingly and got myself tested for the same. Mine also came with some infection. But, I healed fast with no fever in my case. His fever continued and situation gradually deteriorated.
Oxygen level started fluctuating on 12th day, ie., 26th April. We admitted him in hospital. Now, we are counting the days when will he return.
He shouldn’t get any anxiety. So, every time I had to tell him lie, that ‘I am okay’. But I’m not. I cry every day and pray for him to come home soon. Yes, here on this platform I can say aloud ‘I’m not Okay’. Everyone is consoling me and I have immense support of my family, friends, my Momspresso fairies, and relatives, but ‘I’m not okay’ without him. He is my utmost strength. We fight over petty things which is a part of our life, but we both can’t live without each other. Our fights are our immense love. I’m missing these too much.
Come back soon dear. I stare at the entrance and every time the bell rings, my heart pounds to hear your voice, “Shashi darwaza kholo.”
I’m not at all okay without you.🥺💞❣
Thank you dear friends for reading my feelings. It’s okay to vent out somewhere and say I’m not okay, feels better. If any of you could resonate to my story and liked it, please press the heart and leave some prayers for my husband to get well soon. Prayers do miracles. 🙏🏻❤
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