#4. Another Mother In My Life – My Bua!

Sonika Lowe

Blog #3:


A few days ago, when I received a call from her she asked me, “Sonu beta, your  B.Ed got completed na?”

“Haanji, I own the degree too now, but why?” I asked.

“Umm…will you be able to teach History?” She asked, reluctantly.

“History? I hated that subject. I know how I myself had passed it. But where is the vacancy?” I asked.

“In DPS, they want an MA B.Ed. You are an M.Com, so I thought maybe you could apply if you are willing to.” 

“DPS? Bhuji, they will not even call me for an interview, and even if they called, because of your reference, I would not be able to answer even a single question. Besides, teaching is what I hate, I just don’t want to teach.” I replied annoyingly.

“Mere bacche why did you do B.Ed then? Just wasted my son-in-law’s hard-earned money.” She taunted.

“Oho! Bhuji, I am happy with what I am doing. I am enjoying my writing and I know this is what I want to do further.”

“Huh! writing, what are you writing? I don’t even understand it. And what are you getting out of it? Are they paying you something?” She asked.

“Satisfaction Bhuji! satisfaction. I am happy with what I have. Your son-in-law keeps me like a queen. I can have everything I want. Why do you always push me to earn?” 

“Because I don’t want my daughter to be dependent on anyone, even if it’s a son-in-law like Kapil (my husband). Padh likh kar Ghar baithe ho beta, dil dukhta hai (you are sitting at home even after studying so much, it hurts my heart).” She replied.

I assured her that soon I would start earning money through writing but I know she would be calling me very soon again, for telling me about some similar vacancy.

Such is a mother’s heart and her never-dying spirit to make her child independent even if the child is in her forties and happens to be a mother herself. 

This was my paternal aunt, my bua-cum-mother, the darling youngest sister of her adorable “veerji” (elder brother). Though the reason that she too lost her parents at a young age made her feel my pain to a great extent, otherwise too, she has a heart of gold. 

After my parent’s demise, when I and my siblings were made to shift from Chandigarh to Faridabad, she pampered me in every possible way she could, even that meant ignoring her own children.

She is my confidante. When before marriage I was not allowed by the elders of the family to meet my fiance, and my mother-in-law insisted that I should meet his son, she was the one, whom I could trust blindly. I used to tell her each and every detail about my meeting and she would keep a check on me. She took me to various markets in Delhi for my wedding shopping; wasting her time, burning her fuel as she wanted the best for me. 

A two-time cancer survivor, a heart patient struggling with thyroid and a number of other ailments, my bua is a powerhouse of energy. One could never imagine looking at her smiling face and the active lifestyle she pursues, that she has any health problem. Her positive outlook towards life and her “never say die” attitude is what inspires me the most. She will meet and greet you smiling on the outside, even if she is screaming in pain, on the inside. She is bubbly and chirpy like a bird and a delight to spend time with. I love her company a lot, though because of family commitments, nowadays, I hardly manage to meet her.

She attended my brother’s pipping ceremony at IMA Dehradun in the month of June, with stitches that stretched from her cleavage to her pelvis, because of a major cancer surgery. She didn’t even get a chair to sit, she just attended the ceremony leaning on the railing, i.e., boundary of the parade ground. 

When I advised her that she shouldn’t take the risk of traveling that far with stitches, she said, “My veerji’s son is going to be an officer today, how can I miss this proud moment. Besides, I won’t let my daughters miss their parents on the big day.”

She offered sweets to everyone, beaming with pride with a nonstop flow of tears from her eyes, “My nephew is an officer now!” 

Her stitches got infected after that, and it took more than a month to heal yet she was content that she attended the ceremony.

Since the day I got married, my bua has been fulfilling most of the duties of my Maayka. My brother and sister do their bit but since they are away, in other parts of the country while she resides in the same city, she insists on doing the same. She keeps on requesting me to stay with her for a few days, every now and then. I hesitate because she lives in a joint family and I don’t want to burden her but she says, “this is your home too!”

She never misses gifting me on Diwali. Each time she meticulously chooses the gift that I and my mother-in-law would like. Even when I have told her innumerable times, “bhuji aapka nahi banta dena( you are not supposed to give me gifts). Now your daughter is married too, you should gift her whatever you wish to, but not to me.”

“Why? Are you not my daughter too?” She asks with wet eyes.

After both my deliveries she was the one who bought delicious “Panjiri” for me and advised me to finish it at the earliest so that she can give me another tin of five kgs. When she reached the hospital to see me she whispered in my ears, “sab jo kar rahe hain karne do, aap bas chup chaap aankhen band karke araam karo” (let others do what they are doing, you just keep your mouth shut, eyes closed and take rest).

She gauges that I am not well even with my simple plain hello over a call. Every now and then she would suggest me some remedy for my allergic rhinitis. “Beta if Kapil doesn’t have time, I and your Fufaji will pick you up and take you to the Doctor, you just tell us when should we come.” She even offers me a visit to the Doctor when she feels I am not telling her the exact condition of my health. 

When a few years back she got to know that I fractured my ribs, she immediately asked me to come with her to her house so that she can take care of me.

“You won’t be able to rest here well with kids running around, mummy (my MIL) and Kapil (my husband) will take care of the kids, you please come with me, beta.” She insisted. 

It took good twenty minutes for my MIL and Kapil to convince her that they will take care of me in the best possible way. I can never forget her wet requesting eyes from that day, eyes that felt the pain I was going through.

You ignore your own kids and waste your time on us,

Sweating around for your nieces and nephews is such a fuss,

Ohh Bhuji! where do you bring such warmth from?

Are we even worthy of your loving motherly charm?

Dear Bhuji, no words could ever justify the level of respect I have for you. What you have done for me, no one else could have. Thank you so much for your love, affection, support and encouragement all through the years. Even if I am unable to meet you often, I wish and pray for your healthy long life; everyday, because I need and love you so much!


Dear Friends, This is my fourth blog for the SERIOMANIA Series – MAAISAFEELING! I am blessed with relatives who actually helped me and my siblings sail through the difficult times after my parents’ sudden demise. My youngest bua (father’s sister) has been one of those, who loved, protected and encouraged me like a mother at every tough juncture of my life and is still doing that.

Thank you so much for reading!


Sonika Lowe

Image – She had long and thick, lustrous hair that she lost after chemo and radiation. She sports a wig now. 

Link to Blog #5:


Disclaimer:    The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Momspresso.com. Any omissions or errors are the author’s and Momspresso does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.

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